Spring Has Sprung

Spring in Arizona is a marvelous thing! However, if you dawdle, or blog, you will miss it. Sooo, we've been taking advantage of all that spring has to offer, and it hasn't left me with much time. I guess that's a good thing though, to be so busy living life that there isn't time to record or ponder it. To get everyone caught up with us I've got a special treat of a picture parade for you. In other words, I'm taking the easy way out and doling out eye candy rather than writing anything of any real substance.

We enjoyed a quick weekend visit with my Eric, Kari, Ashley and Ryan. As usual, Ashley and Andy are the best of buds!
Everyone likes to pile up on Uncle Brian, and I don't think he really minds either.
Baseball is still in the air, and the weather is perfect for bike riding. Or bike scootching, as the case may be. Andy's feet still don't reach the pedals on his trike.
What would spring be without a trip to the mall to see the Easter Bunny? Let me tell you, Andy has some serious Bunny love this year. Later, when he told my dad about seeing the Easter Bunny he said, "Papa, I saw the Easter Bunny at the mall and I liked him!"
Remember the whole bunny love thing I just told you about? Well, we also took Andy to see his very first movie. He was awesome! He sat and watched the entire movie, and ate his weight in popcorn.
The weather has been so nice that I couldn't resist getting Andy a little playhouse. He loves it! He invites everyone to come inside and begs for his friends to come over to play. Seriously, every day he plays here.
Andy just started taking swimming lessons. We've spent so much time in our pool with him playing that I felt he would do better learning with us not right in the pool with him. Obviously, he wasn't down with this plan.
He made a quick recovery and is now a big fan of playing with Miss Eileen. We go every Saturday morning and I'm super excited for our pool to warm up so that we can have more fun.
Even here in the Valley of the Sun we get some spring showers. OK, it was only one, but we did get a really nice rainbow out of it. This is what we saw when we came out of church. Andy told everyone about it for a week.
Lest you think that I think my boy is perfect, here's proof that he's not. Naughty little boy climbed up on his table to steal car keys. Good thing his feet won't reach the gas pedal yet.
I'm loving the extra sunshine left at the end of the day. I can relax on the patio while Andy plays. We've even enjoyed dinner out on the patio a couple of times. Andy would eat every meal out there if I'd let him.
Remember the whole bunny love thing? Well, last weekend my school district hosted an Easter event for employees and Andy couldn't get enough of a certain special guest. Other kids cried and wouldn't pose for pictures, but not my boy.
Oh, and here's us. Our happy little family of 3.

Yup, these are some pretty good times right now!

Family Day Celebration

We've had a really busy couple of days around here, so our Family Day celebration was a very small and short event with just me, Brian and Andy.

Andy helped to decorate the cake, employing a strategy of carefully placing sprinkles by the handful.

In typical Andy fashion he was tasting the cake as he was decorating.
I sure love this picture. Andy loves his daddy.
Even though our celebration was short and sweet (like my boy!), it was absolutely perfect (just like my boy!).

Family Day 2010

This weekend we will be celebrating Family Day. What? You don't know about this holiday? It comes around every year on October 25th. We celebrate by being together as a family (Wait, Brian is on-call this weekend. Come to think of it, he was on-call last year too.), something fun, and a fancy cake. Really, it's lots of fun and I look forward to it, even though I tend to get a little mushy and sappy. OK, I'll admit it . . . I sort of made up this holiday. But, I had a really good reason.

On October 25, 2010 we had Andy's adoption finalization hearing. All of these people

were in court to celebrate with us. Later more people joined us for a luncheon party (and yes, we had cake). And thus was born our first Family Day. Andy was just 3 months old and weighed in at a hefty 11 pounds.

Last year we celebrated quietly at home. My dad joined us, but my mom was out of town. Brian kept getting called in to work, but we did have cake.

This year the 25th falls on Monday, but that won't be a good day to celebrate at all. First of all, I have to return to school that day. I tutor after school, so I won't be leaving until 5:30. Then, I will be spending the evening leading the Resolve Peer Led Support Group for our side of the Valley. Hence, we will need to celebrate on Sunday. Of course we will have cake, but I wanted to do something else as well. I had thought about taking Andy to Build A Bear and letting him make a special toy. However, I just read that our mall has a new Lego store opening this weekend so it will be a complete zoo. Any ideas for me?

Oh, and on the 26th we celebrate Andy's second baptism birthday. Wasn't he a cute little peanut? I'll need to go to the Christian book store to pick out a little something for him.

So, any thoughts yet? Should I still try Build A Bear, or do you have a better idea?

Jumbled Father's Day Thoughts

Brian's Father's Day celebration actually began last week when I gave him some bacon chocolate bars. I forget now why I gave them to him early, but it made sense at the time. You see, Brian is a huge fan of all things bacon. And I was right, this was a huge hit.

Also, last week Lindsay posted of their experience making bacon pancakes and when I told Brian about it he was incredibly jealous. Thus, bacon pancakes made it onto our morning menu for today. I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised then when Brian wanted chocolate chips added to his pancake. Personally, I passed on the chocolate chips, but the bacon pancakes were delicious nonetheless.
I then spent some time decorating this yummy chocolate monkey cake. Sadly for Brian, no bacon was involved. And really, there was no real point to the monkey cake other than the fact that I got a new cake pan for my birthday and I wanted to practice before Andy's birthday next month. And, you know, cake is a great reason to have people come over.
My parents joined us in the afternoon for cake and Andy time and we had a very nice visit. Considering all that has happened with my dad in recent years we are very lucky to be able to continue celebrating Father's Day with him.

While I am able to think about all of the ways that Brian is an awesome dad, from the way he calls Andy "my boy" to the way he chooses outfits for him and gets up with him at night, it's a little different. I say different because while I am honoring Brian for being a great dad to MY boy, and all the dads and grandpas in our lives, I am also thinking of a mom. Andy's birthmom. And I know it's an odd day to think of a mom, but stay with me. She is the one who made it possible for the love of my life to even BE a dad. And she is the one who has made it possible for me to see this whole other side of Brian. And so today I have deep and sincere gratitude to her for allowing us to love and parent this wonderful little boy who we love so dearly.

And on the other side of my gratitude is a teeny bit of jealousy. You see, she was able to do what I tried so hard to do but couldn't. She made my Brian a daddy.

Mother's Day Ups and Downs

I feel so incredibly blessed to be celebrating Mother's Day this weekend that I can hardly stand it! I have Brian and Andrew, and my mom, too. We are all healthy and happy, the weather is gorgeous and none of us have work to do this weekend.

But, it's complicated. I feel so many other things as well, and it makes my brain a very busy place trying to figure it all out.

5 years ago I didn't really give much thought to Mother's Day, other than to celebrate with my mom. I figured that one day I would also get to celebrate it, but it really didn't give me much pause for thought.

4 years ago I started to get impatient and anxious, and began to worry it would never happen.

3 years ago I was excited for Mother's Day as it approached because I was finally pregnant. However, 3 years ago, on May 9th, I had my surgery because of my miscarriage #1.

2 years ago I was waiting, and trying to be patient.

1 year ago I was blissfully happy with my 10 month old beautiful baby boy! But the joy was tempered just a bit (OK, maybe a lot) by guilt. I thought it would go away.

It hasn't. It's still here.

I still feel so badly for those who are still longing to be a mom, and for those who have their babies in heaven instead of here on Earth. I know this pain and wish that nobody would ever have to know it.

And now this year my joy still continues, but I also remember my losses, and those of my friends.

So, if you are still waiting, my prayers are with you. And if you are celebrating, please remember your friends and family who may be still longing for motherhood or missing their babies. I know I am.

From Tears to Smiles

Today was the day of my little support group reunion. Everyone was just coming over to my house with kids in tow so that the kids could play and us girls could visit and we could all have a little lunch together. Sounds nice, right? Apparently not to Brian. I guess he was afraid of being overrun by emotional girls and just too many kids. He left the house before anyone got here and didn't return until the coast was clear.

Here's what he missed . . .
.




See? Didn't that look like fun? There weren't actually many tears until the very end of our little visit when we tried to get a group photo, and even then it was only kids who were crying.
It really did my heart good to get together with these girls. We each have a different story for our journey to parenthood, but we have a deep bond too. We've all shed tears together. We've all had heartbreak and felt hopeless. But now? We've arrived. And it's all smiles from here on out.

So please, if you are still on this journey through infertility, please reach out to others, in person. Nothing compares to having people locally who understand first hand where you are and are willing to hold your hand through the hard times and celebrate with you in the good times.

In fact, I was sitting with these girls when I got "the call" about Andrew.

Odds Oddities

Many times over the course of our infertility journey we found ourselves on the short side, or wrong side, of the odds. First of all, to even be diagnosed and have to deal with infertility in the first place, put us on the short side of the odds. Then, to wind up with unexplained infertility was again an example of the short side of the odds. Throughout every single type of treatment I endured the odds were against me. The odds were against me that I would ever get pregnant in the first place.

But I did, and it finally seemed that I beat the odds. In fact, after the heartbeat was found I was finally on the good side of the odds, for the first time throughout the journey. Obviously, that was a short lived journey to the right side of the odds.

Odds were against us for getting chosen so quickly for Andrew, but we did, thankfully.

And now a study comes out showing that those who suffer miscarriage, stillbirth and infant death are more likely to divorce. Again, the odds are against us. I've seen many marriages suffer and fail as a result of infertility, miscarriage, stillbirth and infant death, and I've always been so sad for those people to have to suffer yet one more loss.

But us? This was one time where despite the odds against us we have come out the other side even better than before. And this isn't really fair either, since many of those who didn't have things work out may be far more deserving than us. But I'm most thankful, blessed, and exceptionally lucky.

How Far We've Come

Forgive me for getting a little sentimental here . . .

In June of 2007 I was in a horrible place. Over the previous year we had received our diagnosis of unexplained infertility, spent thousands on unsuccessful treatments, had a surprise pregnancy, heartbreaking miscarriage, and surgery. Also, my dad had suffered his accident and spinal cord injury. So, by June I just didn't know where to turn anymore. I was still so lonely here in Arizona and felt that absolutely nobody really understood what was happening here. I reached out to Resolve, and found that a support group was just starting, that very week, in fact. In a huge step outside of my comfort zone, I went. And I've never regretted it.

Within a very short time there was a group of 5 of us girls who were all fighting the same battle, but in very different ways. This group saw me through my unsuccessful IVF, then adoption homestudy and approval, the creation of our profile book, adoption match and placement, another pregnancy, and another miscarriage and surgery. In fact, I was sitting with this very bunch of girls when Brian called to tell me that we had been chosen!

I stopped going to the meetings a few months after my last miscarriage. It was just time to stop. However, I still kept up with my 4 main girls, even though the group had grown much larger, seeing some every once in a while too. And, well, none of us are involved with the Resolve group anymore.

Next weekend will be a very special, celebratory weekend. We are all getting together here at the house, complete with babies (and one baby belly!), for a reunion. I couldn't be more thrilled. We've all come so far, and all of our dreams have been realized.

So, Heather, Tara, Christine and Debby, I just can't wait!

Spring Bliss

I'd have to say that this spring is the best spring ever, since moving to Arizona. The weather has been beautiful and I've actually been in a position to enjoy and appreciate it.

I think a big part of it is that my stress level is so manageable right now. School is well under control (though all the teachers out there will understand that there is no such thing as being "caught up"). We have state testing next week, but that's OK, it actually makes for an easy week as far as planning and prep time.

And dare I say that I feel like there's a little bit of balance between work and family time? It helps that there is still some daylight after dinner, as it allows for some play time. We got Andy this really fun sand and water table. He's a big fan! Of course, the first thing he did was drink some of the water and eat a big mouthful of sand. Ick.
And now, with this new-found balance that I feel if I could only work in some trips to the gym each week . . .

Been Missing YOU

My life is so full, and complete, and just plain good right now that I really don't have anything to complain about. So this complaint really isn't a complaint at all. More like an observation, really.

I miss blogging. I miss reading. I miss commenting. I miss posting. There. I said it.

I miss keeping up with my bloggy buddies and feeling connected.

For so long blogging was really a lifeline for me. I wasn't working, except for some subbing and tutoring, and we really weren't well established in our new hometown. Infertility was a lonely, scary place to be and and it was way less scary and way less scary in the blogosphere.

And really, if there's anything I miss about my travels through infertility and beyond it's the blogging. I sure don't miss the doctor appointments, tests, blood draws, injections, ultrasounds and mounting medical bills. I sure don't miss the much too short lived pregnancies and surgeries.

And as time passed blogging changed as we continued our journey and became parents. And more recently, I miss keeping up with the hard-fought for pregnancies, adoptions, and quickly growing more and more adorable little munchkins!

I love my class this year, I have the best third graders ever. I've needed to love teaching again, so this is wonderful. That being said, it's kicking my butt. I hate having to be away from Andrew during the day. My precious few hours with him each day pass way too quickly. By the time I get him fed and put to bed I'm just done. D - O - N - E. I try to blog, but nothing coherent comes out. I read blogs, and comment, but my comments sound dumb so I don't post them.

But, Spring Break is within sight. In 48 hours I'll be free, free, free! I'll have two glorious weeks! One of my goals is to get back into the swing of blogging, and to give back some support and friendship to this wonderful community that means the world to me.

5th Anniversary

5 years ago today my sweetie and I were married in a beautiful ceremony and then we celebrated like crazy with our family and friends. The next morning we left for our wonderful honeymoon in Maui, and upon our return we packed up and moved to Arizona. Never a dull moment for us!

I can't believe how much we've been through over the last 5 years. We've made a very comfortable home for ourselves here away from all we knew. We've enjoyed many trips and lots of sporting events and concerts. We've made new friends, and we have local family now. We've also dealt with my dad's devastating injury, our infertility, fertility treatments and medical expenses we never imagined, two miscarriages, our journey through domestic adoption, and finally life with our beloved boy. I truly hope that the coming years aren't nearly this eventful, but every bit as joyful!

And how are we celebrating? Well, our big celebration will come next month when we go back to California to stay at the Grand Californian, like we did on our wedding night. We'll also spend the day at Disneyland.

As for tonight, I'm sure to still be packing. Andy and I leave bright at early tomorrow morning for frigid and snowy Omaha. Maui sounds much better. Too bad my 100 year old grandma doesn't live there!

Pleasant Surprise

When you are getting ready to be a parent there are lots of things that cross your mind. You wonder when. You wonder if you'll parent a boy or girl. You wonder how many children you will have. You wonder if you'll be a good parent. You wonder how much your life will change. You wonder if you can afford children. You wonder all kinds of things, some minor and some major.

And people will give all sorts of opinions, solicited and unsolicited. You are warned about the lack of sleep, and money, and adult time. But, you are also told, and you anticipate, an unfathomable amount of love you'll have for your tiny treasure.

Throughout all of this, there is just one thing I was unprepared for. I didn't read about it, and not a single soul I know told me about this. And actually, I'm pretty glad about this since what I discovered has been one of the sweetest blessings ever.

Are you ready for me to share? Hopefully if you are a parent you have experienced this as well, and if you aren't, you won't hate me for giving away the surprise.

I always knew that Brian would be an awesome dad. He's caring and sensitive, responsible and fun. But . . . I was totally unprepared to fall totally and completely in love with him all over again. It totally melts my heart to listen in on Brian and Andy when they don't know I am. Or to watch them when they don't know I'm watching. I love to lay in bed on a weekend morning and listen to them chatter downstairs in the kitchen. I love when the baby monitor is on and I can hear Brian talking with our boy. It's just pure heaven and makes it all so worthwhile. And like I said, I always knew that Brian would be a great dad, but it was just such a pleasant surprise to see him transformed to an even better husband. And what I found, was that just when I thought that I couldn't possibly love him any more, I did. And I do. Each day just gets better and better.

Thankful for the Wait

Holidays were hard for me for a long time. It's just so hard not having kids, and especially at the holidays, when that is what you want more than anything in the world. To be surrounded by people who have what you want so deeply was really hard to bear at times. While I thought that I was thankful for all that I had, I still wished for more. I always knew that holidays would be even better once we had kids. And now, it's even better than I ever imagined.

While waiting, time seemed to pass so slowly, and the pain only deepened with the passing of each holiday. It was a pain that felt like it would never lessen. And a pain that felt like I had to hide it, lest I make others uncomfortable. To top it off, I only felt understood by those who had already traveled our path, and felt our pain. Even worse was being misunderstood by those who hadn't traveled our path. It was just another layer of the pain.

But now, on the other side of the pain, I can honestly say that I am thankful for the wait. I think that the waiting, while nearly unbearable at the time, really helped to build a deep appreciation for all that we have now. For Andrew. The kind of appreciation that is built when you have to work really hard for something important, rather than the more superficial appreciation that comes from having things come along easily.

And the pain, while it is indeed gone, it is not forgotten. The scars remain, but don't hurt anymore. And really, I don't want to forget. Forgetting might lessen my appreciation, if that's even possible. I want to remember.

Remembering strengthens my love and support for my friends who are still waiting. Friends who are wondering if their pain will ever end. And to those friends I say, "I understand your pain. I can't tell you how long you will wait, but I can tell you that one day the pain will vanish, and your hearts will be filled with so much love and appreciation for your child that you will also appreciate your wait. Your scars, too, will fade, but you will remember. You will remember from a special place of strength, with others who have also had the joy of waiting."

Finally, a Chance to Take a Breath

Wow, these last couple of weeks have been pretty brutal on the intensity and hectic scales. It seems like so much has happened since I posted about going to California for my birthday weekend!

First of all, our trip was great, but way too short. It was hectic getting ourselves together and even getting out there, and upon our return we hit the ground running. B's dad drove back with us and stayed at our house until Sunday. B's grandparents are moving back to Baltimore, so his dad was helping them pack up and then driving them back. We will miss them and how much they always loved on Andrew. Of course, they will still love him from Baltimore, but it was nice to be able to see them enjoy him.

Yesterday was my last day of school, and my fellow teachers will know just what kinds of craziness and pressure and stress I've been dealing with over the past couple of weeks.

I have lots of material to blog about in the coming days and weeks (open adoption and how it's working for us, our next steps, summer happenings, things I'm excited about, etc). So, for now, I'll leave you will some pictures from the past couple of weeks.

Andrew is such a busy little guy! He loves to just play and entertain himself and just do his own thing. Don't get me wrong, he loves to be played with, but he is equally content with just hanging out on his own.
During this time my baby turned 10 months old! Just look how big he is now compared to his bear!
Andrew is busy exploring all the time. He really liked crawling through the coffee table while visiting Nonnie and Papa in California.

Andrew's cousins still fuss over him like crazy and just can't get enough of him. Ashley wants to be holding him all of the time. I just love how he is able to be close with his cousins. This just adds so much to our life.

Getting ready to go somewhere is so much more fun with Andrew playing underfoot in the bathroom. I love finding little handprints on my mirror.

Well, that's it for now. I'm looking forward to the slower pace of summer, and with that will come more blogging. Promise!

Looking Back, Looking Forward

This is my 300th post as well as the last day of the year so what better way to spend it than to reflect upon the last year.

I reviewed my blog from last January. My, my, my . . . . just how far we have come on this unbelievable journey! Last year at this time I was bidding good riddance to fertility treatments and testing and beginning the process of our adoption paperwork. I had one last visit with my RE and was encouraged to try IVF just one more time. I was full of hope and eager to get on with the business of just living our lives. I had no idea of what was to come. In fact, never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined the blessings that would unfold for us.

2008 did hold it's share of drama and upset for me. After all, we did have to once and for all give up our dream of biological children. It was hard getting back into the swing of teaching full time. In fact, I'm still struggling with it. I allowed myself to be hurt by other's insensitivity and lack of understanding and compassion. I had another doomed pregnancy and miscarriage and surgery.

But, you know what? Absolutely none of that matters anymore. By July our greatest dream had come true and it's been nothing but sheer bliss since then. OK, maybe teaching full time isn't sheer bliss, but it really isn't that bad and it's nice to know that in the current economic climate we are able to alleviate some financial worries.

So what will 2009 hold for us? Only God knows. I've learned that all we can do is go with the flow and muddle through and wait out the difficulties and delight in and cherish the joys. I'm looking forward to watching Andrew grow. I'm looking forward to spending time with B. I'm looking forward to enjoying what we have instead of wishing and planning for what we don't. I'm looking forward to letting "good enough" really be good enough instead of striving for super human standards in my home and classroom. And I'm looking forward to living in this state of bliss that I've been in for months. I never want it to end!

I'm also wishing that all of you can reflect upon the joys you have had this year and feel the pain and disappointment a little less. Further, I'm wishing that you will think of a few things that you are looking forward to in the coming year. And, if you wouldn't mind . . . drop me a comment and let me know what you are looking forward to.

Thankful Musings

Our Thanksgiving was really very nice. We had a much smaller crowd than usual as Eric, Kari and the kids didn't come out and neither did B's family. We also didn't have my mom's cousin with us as usual since she celebrated with her daughter's family this year. I have to admit that as much as I enjoy having a houseful of people it was rather nice to just have us, my parents and my aunt this year. We were able to really relax and enjoy a slow paced holiday of baby watching. And it was perfect. Absolutely perfect. I've never felt such contentment before.

I couldn't help thinking about how different this Thanksgiving was compared to last year. I was in such a sad place last year, and all of that sorrow is gone now. In fact, it really doesn't matter any more at all. Last year I never would have imagined that this year we would be celebrating with OUR four month old baby. True bliss. Simply unimaginable bliss.

This weekend we also picked up our pictures that we had taken last week. I swear, each picture of my boy is sweeter than the last.



Our first family portrait. Please ignore the bags under my eyes. Remember I had been really sick!
And finally, the one that just melts my heart and fills me up with gooeyness . . .

What a Week!

Have no fears . . . I haven't abandoned my blog! I haven't been away due to any disaster, natural or otherwise. Simply, life has been incredibly busy. Good, fantastic even, but really, really, super busy. So, grab yourself a beverage and a snack, because this might be a long one.

First of all, last Monday marked my return to school, again. I know, I know, I just wrote about returning to school after my family leave. And I did. However, only for one week. My district gets a 2 week fall break each year so last Monday was my return after a 2 week vacation. It was just like starting all over again. It wasn't as bad as my first week back, but it was still really busy and I put in many extra hours trying to get caught up.

Midweek marked Andrew's 3 month birthday. See what a big boy he is getting to be?

The week was also busy because we were getting ready for an event filled weekend. We were preparing the house for 7 house guests. Shopping needed to be done for a lunch we were hosting at our home and last minute things needed to be handled for a luncheon we were hosting at a local restaurant. One night we had a meeting at the church about Andrew's upcoming baptism and one night we had a hockey game to attend. Go Coyotes!

Our guests arrived on Friday. We had Eric, Kari, Ashley and Ryan, as well as B's parents and grandma. Luckily B was off of work so that he could do all sorts of last minute things around the house. As you can imagine, things were quite wild around our house that night. Somehow we all managed to get a little sleep.

Saturday morning we had to get up bright and early to head into Phoenix for Andrew's adoption finalization hearing. We had many of our family and friends meet us there. In fact, our group managed to completely fill up the spectator area of the small court room we were in. Even though we knew that this hearing was really just a formality, it was still really emotional for me. I wasn't sure if I was going to cry or throw up at any given moment! When I was asked during the hearing if Andrew was the child I wanted to adopt I almost lost it, but I held on. Afterwards our little family posed for a picture with the judge.

Once outside all of our family and friends gathered with us for a picture. This was just such a special moment for our family and I will treasure it always.

From the courthouse we went to a local Mexican restaurant for a luncheon. The food was great and I think everyone really enjoyed it. I celebrated with a margarita but didn't even make it through half of it before I was having a really good time, if you catch my drift. How sad! Here we are with Andrew's adoption day cake. Yummy!

I'm a bad, bad mom. I let Andrew have a little taste of frosting from his cake. As you can see, he really wasn't too impressed. However, my cake loving friends were, so all is good.

After our party we went back to the house. Pretty much everyone went down for a nap, except me, who cleaned the house. That evening we left Andy with B's parents and went with our friends to the hockey game.

Sunday morning came along with even more family festivities. It was Andrew's baptism day! Doesn't he look handsome?

We built many memories during the service. Our nephew Ryan kept patting Andy on the head as Pastor blessed him. Also, Ryan threw his binky right into the holy water while Pastor was reading. I'm sure everyone in the pews thought we were completely low class morons because we were trying so hard not to laugh. Even our families hadn't seen what happened and they didn't know why we were trying to contain our laughter so much. I should also mention that after Ryan's binky was fished out of the holy water he tried two more times to throw it in! Eventually though Andrew was finally baptised and it was a very special moment.

Afterwards all of our family gathered for a picture. Doesn't my dad look great? It's the first time we've seen him this dressed up since his accident.

From the church everyone came back to our house where we had lunch before all of our California guests hit the road for home.

My words just can't even do justice, and are entirely insufficient, to describe how wonderful this weekend was. It has literally erased all of the pain of the past 2 1/2 years. I feel totally renewed and like a new person.

I'm just so excited about the life we have now. Thanks for hanging in there with me . . .