Monday, September 14, 2009

They're Everywhere

Pregnant folks, that is.

Yeah, I'm observant, huh?

I thought I was past the part where it gave me pause.

But, apparently not.

I'm imperfect and flawed that way.

My brain has NO interest in being pregnant again, and I'm pretty sure my ovaries and ute of doom and destruction would agree.

My heart . . . that's a different story.

There are several preggos at school.

More are trying, and talking about it, and will be there soon.

It leaves me wishing, wanting and hoping.

Andrew's birthmom is remarried, and expecting in November.

That hurts. On so many levels.

My perfect little Andrew fills my heart completely, and will always be more than enough.

He's so wonderful that I want another one just like him.

Or different would be good too.

A little brother, or a little sister, to make our lives complete.

I feel selfish and greedy for wanting more, when others are still hoping, wishing, and praying for one.

Maybe I am. Maybe I'm not. But I'll still be hoping, wishing, and praying for one more. Somehow. Someway.


  1. I don't think I have ever commented on your blog, but this spoke to me on so many levels. I feel exactly what you are feeling, my daughter is four and she now is starting to understand that most kids have brothers and sisters by now and she asks me all the time when is she going to have a sister, it sad to me, I want that for her :(

  2. Why is it so terribly that you would want another child? Are those who don't have fertility problems selfish if they have a second?

    I think you are a great mum, and definitely should think about adding another child to your family!

  3. I don't think it's selfish to want to add to your family. I am wishing, hoping, and praying for you. Hugs.

  4. I don't think it's one bit selfish to want to add to your family. I hope that you will be able to give Andrew a sibling soon!

    I still feel the sting of IF when someone announces their pregnancy or when I see a woman with several kids and another one the way. And there are times when I question why I still get that heart-sinking feeling. I know that I love my girls with every ounce of who I am, and I believe we are beyond blessed to have them in our lives. I wouldn't change our lives one bit! I think the "omg someone else is pregnant" feeling is just a horrible bi-product of IF. The wounds are still there, like a scar. It may not bleed like it used to, but the mark on our lives is still there, and unfortunately will always be.

  5. It still hurts me sometimes to see people with kids, especially if they are close in age. It took so long to achieve it, but we finally got our son a sibling. And I think that if that is what you truely want--somehow it will happen.

  6. The heart is the one that gets us Infertiles everytime!! Hang in there sweeetie. I really hope that you will be able to give Andrew a sibling to!!


  7. It's not selfish at all to want another and to desire a sibling for Andrew - and that's coming from someone who IS still waiting. I would be so incredibly happy to see another little added to your family!

  8. It's only natural!

  9. Not selfish at all.

    I wonder the same thing. All.The.Time.

    Big HUGE ((HUGS)) for you!

  10. Even though I'm pregnant, I still get envious of those getting all excited and planning - they have it so easy and don't even know it. But just cuz Andrew fills you up, doesn't mean there's anything wrong with wanting another. Really. Whether these kids came from your body or not, you'd have probably wanted a 2nd one right?

  11. I understand...I do.
    Lots of hugs

  12. It's not terrible. I've already broached my two year plan to my husband and he to my surprise is open to the idea of getting Lovey Girl a sibling.