Thursday, October 16, 2008

Reflections

I have been doing a lot of reflecting lately. I've been reflecting on just how different life has been from year to year recently. There was a long time when my life just really stayed the same and was very predictable from year to year. The only thing that seemed to change as the years passed was the actual date.

Two years ago we were reeling from the devastation caused by my dad's accident. We were reeling from the realization that we were dealing with unexplained infertility. Things seemed pretty bleak on many fronts.

Last October, in fact this very week, we were waiting to see if our adventure called IVF had worked or not. It's been nearly a year since finding out that it didn't work, that it was just one hugely expensive diagnostic test. It's been nearly a year since I was here (click to see last year's post) and I truly cannot believe how things have changed. Last year I was completely crushed, not sure that we would ever achieve our dream and feeling very hopeless and alone. It was at this time last year that the full devastation from my first miscarriage hit me. And this year? Quite simply, we could know no greater happiness.

You see, a week from Saturday will be a very special day for our family, and it will come pretty much a year from our point of greatest despair. A year ago I didn't know what was in store for us, but God did. And I couldn't see it then, but God's plan for us was already in motion. Andrew was conceived just weeks after this low time for us, and he was meant for us from even before his conception. Oh, but back to a week from Saturday . . . .

A week from Saturday our nearest and dearest closest family and friends will be joining us at the courthouse for Andrew's adoption finalization hearing. (And yes, this is super speedy quick to have an adoption finalized so quickly . . . yay Arizona!) Andrew will get a new last name, ours, and a new birth certificate. Afterwards we will be celebrating with a party at a local Mexican restaurant. I am, simply, beyond excited. It ranks right up there with our wedding. The joy will continue the next day when Andrew is baptized at the local Lutheran church.

And as for my reflections? I realize that the pain and despair felt last year doesn't even matter any more in the typical sense. It matters in that it has shaped us and our little family and given us a different perspective than most parents, but the pain is gone, much like labor pains, I would imagine.

12 comments:

  1. I'm so happy for you Chris! Wow, so much change in a year! Congrats on the adoption being finalzed. May you shed tears of joy!!!

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  2. My goodness, that post brought tears to my eyes. My, oh my how I could relate to those emotions of despair. Even when you think God has gotten evertying all wrong, He swoops in and takes charge and you finally see outside of the box. Congratulations on the adoption. I am sure you are beside yourself in joy! Andrew is a very lucky little boy--he couldn't be adopted by better parents!

    He's so handsome too! Love the pic of him smiling. It just melts my heart!

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  3. The darkness may last the night, but joy comes in the morning.

    Thanks for being so willing to share the joy. .

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  4. Wow. I remember reading your blog when you were starting IVF, and I remember feeling so awful for you and wishing you every happiness sooner rather than later. And to see you so happy and to know Andrew has such wonderful parents--and just in a years time!

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  5. if only we could see into a crystal ball to help with some of the pain. Even knowing these days now were in your future would have helped but I guess thats what this life is all about. Having faith and courage to continue on. Knowing our Heavenly father loves us. I am glad you didnt give up. Your a great little family. Because of where you have been.

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  6. Congratulations on your upcoming finalization. Andrew is just adorable with his big smiles and I'm so happy for you!

    I have noticed how all of the pain of IF doesn't matter at all anymore!

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  7. Congratulations! This all came into place at the right time!

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  8. Boy Do i Know what you mean.

    Andy is just plain ole stinkin adorale!

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  9. Glad things are going well for you. Last year, I was extremely worried about you. This year I am so excited I could squeal! Woo Hoo!

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  10. What a beautiful post. I'm just over the moon for you. I guess we never know what's around the corner in life- even when things are at their worst. I'm so happy you have a wonderful son now and can't wait to hear about next week's festivities!

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  11. I left you an award on my blog today.

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  12. I am so happy for you. It's a story with a happy ending - something we all hope and pray for but it is easy to doubt when you are in the middle of the story. Congrats on the finalization of the adoption. Andrew is a lucky boy.

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