Reflections

I have been doing a lot of reflecting lately. I've been reflecting on just how different life has been from year to year recently. There was a long time when my life just really stayed the same and was very predictable from year to year. The only thing that seemed to change as the years passed was the actual date.

Two years ago we were reeling from the devastation caused by my dad's accident. We were reeling from the realization that we were dealing with unexplained infertility. Things seemed pretty bleak on many fronts.

Last October, in fact this very week, we were waiting to see if our adventure called IVF had worked or not. It's been nearly a year since finding out that it didn't work, that it was just one hugely expensive diagnostic test. It's been nearly a year since I was here (click to see last year's post) and I truly cannot believe how things have changed. Last year I was completely crushed, not sure that we would ever achieve our dream and feeling very hopeless and alone. It was at this time last year that the full devastation from my first miscarriage hit me. And this year? Quite simply, we could know no greater happiness.

You see, a week from Saturday will be a very special day for our family, and it will come pretty much a year from our point of greatest despair. A year ago I didn't know what was in store for us, but God did. And I couldn't see it then, but God's plan for us was already in motion. Andrew was conceived just weeks after this low time for us, and he was meant for us from even before his conception. Oh, but back to a week from Saturday . . . .

A week from Saturday our nearest and dearest closest family and friends will be joining us at the courthouse for Andrew's adoption finalization hearing. (And yes, this is super speedy quick to have an adoption finalized so quickly . . . yay Arizona!) Andrew will get a new last name, ours, and a new birth certificate. Afterwards we will be celebrating with a party at a local Mexican restaurant. I am, simply, beyond excited. It ranks right up there with our wedding. The joy will continue the next day when Andrew is baptized at the local Lutheran church.

And as for my reflections? I realize that the pain and despair felt last year doesn't even matter any more in the typical sense. It matters in that it has shaped us and our little family and given us a different perspective than most parents, but the pain is gone, much like labor pains, I would imagine.