I went to see my doctor today hoping to come away with some answers.
I am now home with the same questions, but less time to figure them out.
This is the first I had seen him since he did the ultrasound with the heartbeat. He was very surprised when he found out I miscarried, given how perfect everything looked at the time. Yeah, me too.
And now for the positive points of the visit:
1) I did get pregnant, unassisted.
2) My cycles are perfectly regular.
3) I am ovulating.
4) I have a good attitude.
5) I'm a good responder to fertility meds.
And now for the negatives:
1) It took a year and a half to get pregnant, with treatment (even though I conceived naturally), it should have happened sooner.
2) I'm 40.
3) Ovarian reserve may be diminished
4) I'm 40.
5) Male factor is borderline.
6) I'm 40.
7) It is unknown exactly what the problem is.
8) I'm 40.
(At this time I told him to stop saying that. My ovaries haven't been told that I'm 40 and I'm trying to keep it that way.)
Here are my options:
1) Wait and See (Cost? $0)
2) IUI #4 with injectibles (Cost? $2500)
3) IVF with ICSI (Cost? $16,000)
IVF with ICSI
1) IVF would be started mid-August (after ovulation) after another search of my uterus between day 5 and 9. (To make sure nothing inappropriate was left behind from the D&C)
2) IUI would have to wait until September since I won't be in town on cycle day 3 when we would need to get started.
3) And I suppose IVF could be postponed until September too.
What am I relieved about?
1) He didn't suggest donor parts.
2) He didn't hand me paperwork for the nearest adoption agency.
3) He was encouraged about the miscarried pregnancy.
What has my brain spinning?
1) He wants to get started now.
2) He didn't think waiting until the end of the year was such a great idea. (And truly, is IVF over the holidays such a great idea?!??!)
3) I didn't think I would have to make a decision now.
What are the advantages of doing it now?
1) I would be doing something proactive.
2) If it works I wouldn't be pregnant next August in Phoenix. Rather, we would have a baby.
3) I wouldn't have to wonder about it now.
What are the disadvantages of doing it now?
1) Am I over reacting too quickly?
2) Am I not giving the natural route enough time?
3) If I play my IVF card and it doesn't work, then I'm done. Really done. End of road.
My head is a really crazy place to be right now. I realize that we don't need to make a decision today, however, I'm a gal that thrives on having a plan. But I wasn't prepared for us to decide on this plan within the next week and a half. And seriously, if IVF is something I am going to do, I may as well just get a move on and do it.
What can you do for me?
1) Tell me your thoughts. There is a handy little "comment" spot just below here. Just click on it and share your thoughts.
2) Pray for strength and guidance for Brian and I as we try to figure this out.