From as far back as I can remember I have always had a plan of some type. Everything I ever did was based on something else that would follow down the line. Work hard in elementary school? Sure, it "counts" in high school. Honors classes and AP tests in high school? Sure, it "counts" in college. The entire college experience? Sure, it helps you get a good job. Student teaching vs. emergency credential? Sure, student teaching because it helps to ensure success. Teaching job? Easiest thing ever because it is my passion. Buying a townhouse? Sure, you can move up to something bigger later. Moving to Arizona? Sure, because once we have kids I can stay home and we won't have to send them to daycare.
This was all fine and dandy up to a point. Teaching in California was my passion. Teaching in Arizona killed my passion. Infertility and miscarriage is stalling the whole kid thing.
I seem to be out of plans. So now what? I don't know what to do.
It is unnerving to be out of ideas. I don't like it.
I guess I could always paint the bathroom.