If you haven't read yesterday's post, you may want to check that out before continuing here.
First a note, apparently not even a dose of Percoset can keep me sleeping through the night. How much does that suck!?!?!
Brian has filled in a couple of gaps about how things really were when I came out of the anesthesia. I remembered just a few tears and calling for Brian. Apparently that was not the case, which is why Brian was so unprepared for what he saw. His take is that I was crying hysterically and putting on quite a show. And babbling about some pretty heartbreaking things. And it was all much worse for him than it was for me because I can't even remember any of it. Oh, and all of this happened with an oxygen mask still clamped over my face.
I want you to know that I know that this whole experience is not some grand tragedy. In the grand scheme of things it isn't that big of a deal. Friday afternoon, after learning of my miscarriage, I learned of this story from back home in Orange County. (Yes, I am a regular troll of OCRegister.com and this is the most heartbreaking story ever). Check it out if you are not familiar with it at Three Angels . (Just click on "Three Angels" to go to the story.)
I am warning you, it is a tear jerker, and my heart just breaks for this family. My friend Melanie has written a wonderful post about it. Just click on her name to read it. And the post below has some of the cutest pictures of her Puggle puppy, who as it seems is more beable than pug. Hehehe! I like to remind her that at least she doesn't have a pure blood beagle, complete with pure blood beagle naughtiness, like Molly.
Just one last thing, because I am seriously having trouble piecing together thoughts and I think it's time for me to go back to work. See what I mean? I need to go back to BED! Anyway, I would just like to mention that while a miscarriage sucks at any time of the year, there seems to be a particular suckiness to having it happen in the days before Mother's Day. A Mother's Day when it felt so close to finally joining the club. That's all.
Ugh- I'm so sorry you had to go through this and I'm sorry you had to hear an announcement of a baby being born while you were going thru this, I don't think I could have handled that. I have to say you are handling all this so well- I mean I know you are sad, but you're not bitter (like I sometimes can be!). Anyway-- start back on acupuncture as soon as you can. When I was preg I stopped it bc I didnt know I was supposed to continue, and I regret that. It's helping me so much. Take care of yourself! Oh- and p.s. I LOVE idol. My husband and I watch it together. I'm a Blake fan, but I love Jordin too! Here's to the next and BETTER chapter for us!
ReplyDeleteMy dear friend - you are so wonderful. You may not feel like it now, but sharing your heart and story in your blog will help many, I'm certain. They will see the beautiful relationship you share with you husband and our God. Please know that I continue to keep you in my prayers. Your friend and neighbor always...
ReplyDeletePS - what about Melinda? Doesn't anyone what Melinda to win? Hmpf!
Yes the story of the 3 children break my heart. Just so sad. BUT don't ever let yourself not think that what you went through wasn't a big deal. It is HUGE. It hurts. It is awful.
ReplyDeleteMy friend lost her 3rd angel to heaven the same week as you. It breaks my heart that she has to have Mother's Day right in her face now. So not fair. HUGS to you both!
I had a similar situation when I woke up from the surgery. I've only been knocked out once-for my wisdom teeth and my mom said I cried hysterically after surgery. I warned my husband of it. Anyway, seeing me like that brought him to tears.
ReplyDeleteAnd I know it must have been hard to have Mother's Day in your face when you've lost your child. Again I am so sorry you are going through this.