The Long Dreaded Day

Well, today finally got here, and here I am on the other side of it just fine. Let me tell you what the day was like. And don't worry, there are no gory parts to be reported because I know nothing about it.

I preregistered and did some other things over the phone yesterday so there was very little to do today. Then the pre-op goon came out to get me. From here on out I will just call her Goon, and you will shortly see why. We stopped first in one room for just a couple of questions. Here's how that conversation went:

Goon- When was your last period?
Me- March 1st
Goon- So, you don't have regular periods?
Me- No, my periods are exceptionally regular.
Goon- But you haven't had a period since March?
Me- No, I haven't. I'm here for a D&C.
Goon- Because your periods aren't regular.
Me- No, my periods are perfectly regular. I'm pregnant.
Goon - (Simply a look of horror that I'm pregnant AND having a D&C)
Me- The baby is dead.
Goon- Well, I have to ask these questions.
Me- (No comments, simply crying like crazy, choking and all)

After that exchange we went to another room so that I could change and get in bed. And Goon wanted a urine sample. OK, by then I had had nothing to drink for 14 hours and had just used the bathroom before walking into pre-op. It wasn't going to happen and she wisely decided not to push it. Besides, the urine test in only to determine if I am pregnant. And that has been well established.

The anethesiologist came in to chat with me about what he had in mind and I must have told him 3 times not to give me anything to make me vomit. He was really nice.

Then the nurse came and worked mightily to get an IV started in my right hand. However, while being good for an IV line it was lousy at releasing blood. So, she had to poke another vein in my other hand because she couldn't get one at my elbow. Again, 14 hours without liquid. By then Brian was allowed to come back and we had about an hour to wait.

Towards the end of that time there was an announcement over the PA that a baby had been born, followed by the playing of Brahm's Lullaby. It was all over for me and the tears began flowing like crazy.

Then Doctor R came in, bla, bla, bla as the anesthesiologist began putting something into the IV and we were off. Once in the OR I moved to the table, an oxygen mask was put to my face and my arms pulled out to my sides. The next I knew I woke up crying in recovery and they brought Brian in because I wouldn't stop calling for him.

This next set of details comes from what Brian has told me because I don't remember a darn bit of it. Apparently while crying I was also asking for Doctor R. And by the way, Brian was not really prepared for the crying bit, especially after I made it clear to all who asked that I wasn't in any pain. Anyhow, Doctor R came in and apparently I felt the need to tell him all about how in my dream last week he had told me I was going to have a miscarriage. Not only that, I felt the need to tell him all about my dream in which Jim's vasectomy didn't work (Don't you love that one Christy!). Right about then I turned to Brian and said, "He thinks I'm crazy". Apparently I also felt the need to tell the nurse that if I even found one more spider in our house we are moving. (Must be because a few nights ago I found the mother of all spiders, at least 3 inches long, and it crunched when Brian crushed it. Spiders shouldn't crunch. Pest control company is coming out tomorrow morning.)

I'm sure there was more funny stuff because Brian kept laughing at me. After a while he helped me get dressed and then we were ready to get out of there. I think he was in a bigger hurry than me to get out, but I really wanted to wait until I could feel my legs first. Before I was wheeled out a couple of the girls from Brian's department came by with a big vase of tulips and a giant gift basket. I was speechless, on top of still being drugged.

After we got home I laid down on the couch and Brian fixed me some plain old basic comfort food, Kraft Mac and Cheese chased with a glass of Sprite. Then it was nappy nappy time for me. When I woke up Brian left for the pharmacy and brought back the two best things for me. A bottle of Percoset and a bag of bite size Snickers.

And now, I'm going downstairs to snack on my bite size Snickers and watch American Idol (Go Jordin!). And, if I have typos, or parts don't make sense, or it is just plain rambly, please remember that at least today I have an excuse.