Just Waiting

Still here, and still waiting for things to be over with. Looks like my surgery will be Wednesday at noon, and with any luck I will be home by 3:00 when Oprah starts. Not that I watch Oprah very regularly. In fact, I can't remember the last time I watched, but at least it will be an option.

I know it sounds weird, but I am actually looking forward to it just so I can get to the business of getting this over with. The past few days I have just felt stuck.

And I'm OK. Disappointed, yes. But still OK. In fact, I feel worse about the loss I have caused other people to feel than I do about my own loss. I feel like I have let down Brian, our parents, our grandparents, Eric and Kari, and our cousins who were all eagerly awaiting the arrival of Baby Mayer. My head knows I haven't really let them down, but my heart hurts for the loss that they feel.

I have really appreciated all of the emails and phone calls of support. And a special "thank you" to Stacy and Scott for sending flowers and well wishes. Who by the way, are expecting Baby Girl very shortly. Baby Girl who I am very excited to meet!