Sunday, February 25, 2007

Prayers and Positive Thinking

When we moved into the house we put an old twin bed and dresser and bookshelf in our front upstairs bedroom and decorated it with a Hawaiian theme because Brian didn't want anything too frilly and it's just plain fun. Brian's Grandma and other short folks stay in this room when visiting.

Well, over a year ago my long time friend Connie gave me her son's crib since she thought I would need it before she ever would. For a long time it was stashed under a bed in another room and left its mark on many toes. We would set it up for Ashley downstairs when she was here, but frankly, it was always in the way and Brian was getting tired of taking it apart and putting it together.

So, in a huge leap of faith and positive thinking, and at the risk of people thinking that I had completely lost my mind, I asked made Brian assemble said crib on the other side of the Hawaiian bedroom. And what exactly does any right-minded, self-respecting infertile do? Heads to Pottery Barn to buy a coordinating set of Hawaiian print bedding. For months I explained to people that it was for when Ashley was here. However, about a day after we set it up she figured out how to escape from her crib. Did I take it down? No. Why? Because we all know I didn't put it up just for Ashley. It is there because one day Baby Mayer will occupy it. There, I have finally come clean about the matter. (However, the toys in the corner really are for her to play with!) And, while some may see it as a daily reminder of what I don't have, I choose to see it as a daily reminder of what is to be. Maybe not this month, but it will be.

Each evening I stop in this room, and while enjoying the dark and the solitude, I pray for God to give us the blessing of a child to occupy this bright and cheery part of our lives and home.

On another note, after months of praying for patience I have been blessed with a small helping. I still have a few days to go before finding out if this last IUI worked, but the infamously horrid two week wait hasn't been horrid at all. I have been relaxed and calm and I feel deep in my heart that Baby Mayer will come into our lives. Again, maybe not this month, but it will happen. Of that I am sure. Please continue sending prayers our way, I feel it and it helps.

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