On Saturday we had a visit with Andrew's birthmom, A, her fiance, and her two daughters. It was only our third in-person visit since Andrew was born, and it was the first visit that we hosted at our home. Some of you may wonder if that was a little weird. Absolutely not! I think I can safely say that it was our best visit yet.
Our last visit was at the kids pizza joint with the giant, freaky rat. Andrew was simply not himself while we were there because it was just so chaotic and he didn't know what to make of it. I left that visit feeling sort of icky, well, rather sad, that A didn't get to see him being himself and his sweet personality. Afterward, Brian and I talked and we agreed that we felt comfortable having the next visit at our house.
I think our visits are also getting more comfortable because, well, we are actually having them. Plus, we keep in contact via texting and facebook as well. We all swam for a bit at first, then had a do-it-yourself taco bar, fresh fruit, and cupcakes for dinner. The kids played together really well and Andrew just couldn't stop loving on his 8 month old half sister. It was pretty cute.
At one point I asked A if she wanted to see Andrew's room. She told me that she really wanted to, but that she hadn't wanted to ask. We went right up and I gave her the tour. A loved his room, and bathroom too.
After about 3 hours our visit came to an end and we said good bye until next time. Andrew had hugs for all. I'm just continually amazed at how this relationship continues to grow. It is such a gift. First of all, I genuinely like A and care about how she is. I want her to see for herself how wonderful Andrew is and how much we completely adore him. I also want Andrew to know that she did, and does, love and care about him. I want him to know that she didn't just turn her back on him and forget about him.
Here it is 2 days later, and I've still got the warm fuzzies over how well everything went. This is exactly the feeling I want to carry with us through the years.
I do realize that our situation is very different from many other adoptions, and that works for us may not work for everyone. I also feel it's important to share how this does progress so that other families contemplating adoption can have a little snapshot about how it can work. I also would like our friends and family to understand, because I do realize that this is very different. Please, if you have any questions that I haven't touched on please ask away in the comments, or email me directly.