Almost four and a half years ago B and I up and left southern California and moved to Arizona. We had a brand new house and B had a new job at a brand new hospital. (It wasn't until 6 months later that my teaching job started.) We were full of hope for the future and all seemed rosy. Except . . . We missed our family and friends. We went back to southern California a lot that first year.
During that time I absolutely HATED my teaching job and going to work was a very lonely, miserable experience. So, I quit. Then came our infertility diagnosis, my dad's accident, failed treatments, miscarriage, and on and on. And still we were away from our family and friends. It became very easy to blame all of these lousy happenings on the state of Arizona. We sometimes questioned the wise-ness of our move.
Our trips back to California became interesting, at least for me. There were things about our old home in south county that we missed, in addition to our friends. The ocean. The rolling hills. The green. The cool, damp evening air. The cool, damp mornings. But there were also things that we didn't miss, that were now just glaring. The traffic. The sheer numbers of people. The fast-paced lifestyle. The pressure to keep up with the Joneses. It left me feeling like we didn't really belong anywhere.
But, this past year? Things have been a-changin' . . .
And quite frankly, if we hadn't made the move to Arizona, we wouldn't be where we are today. We wouldn't have our Andy-Pants. And I just can't imagine that.
So, this latest trip to California was interesting. First of all, Andy and I had a great time visiting with family and friends and we made lots of memories. However, while enjoying the cool morning, evenings, green, and rolling hills the familiar longing feeling wasn't there. Something just didn't feel "right", but I couldn't put my finger on it.
After a seven hour journey home (hey, I had to stop at the Cabazon outlet mall) I was winding my way through our subdivision. I figured it out. Amid the mesquite trees, saguaro, lantana, lizards, and endless granite . . . we are home.
And now for your viewing pleasure . . .
Andy was enjoying crawling around the kitchen this morning when he found one of Molly's cookies. Just so you know, he cried when I took it away from him. And now Molly knows not to leave her cookies lying around the house.