Monday, October 06, 2008

As You Wish!

First, even though you all voted overwhelmingly against it, let me say "Go Angels!" Hopefully they'll get a victory tonight to bring the series back to Anaheim. Now to the topic the readers asked me to address.

I will admit that when Christy and I first started talking about the possibility of adopting I had a few concerns. The biggest of which was whether or not I could accept an adopted child as my own and be able to give it the unconditional love that it deserves. I was worried that if the baby didn't look like either of us or even just knowing that we didn't share any genetic material that I would always have that in the back of my mind and be distant with the child. Well, I was worried about nothing. I can honestly say that I love Andy with all my heart and I can't imagine not having him around. The adjustment was quick and complete.

Something that helped greatly was the birth parents. They made it clear that they wanted the child to have a good home and to be loved deeply. The fact that they chose us made me realize not only that I could love this child, but others knew I could as well. I thought I could, but if they knew I could then the only thing stopping me was me. When Andy was born, letting myself love him was the easiest thing in the world. When we were with him in the nursery, just minutes after he was born, I realised that he was our baby. Admittedly, I got a little teary and I turned to Christy and said "We have a baby." From that point on I was deeply attached to him. Conveniently, I happen to work at the hospital where he was born. Every few hours I went to the NICU to hold him. He was my baby.

One of the most special things about being a new parent is holding a little baby. They are so delicate and fragile. Not long after we brought Andy home, I was holding him curled up in a little ball on my chest. He was snuggling in holding tight to my shirt. It was at that moment that I realized that he needs me. For almost four years it was about how much we wanted and needed a baby. Suddenly it became about how much this baby needs us.

It's only been eleven weeks, but I can tell you that my life has been changed forever and I can't imagine ever having to be without Andy. I am excited to have the opportunity to watch my son grow and evolve and mature and I can't wait to watch him go through many of the great experiences life has waiting for him.

So yes, at first I was a little apprehensive about bonding with an adopted baby. As soon as Andy was born all of those fears went right out the window. I couldn't be more excited about being a dad and I couldn't be happier to have Andy for a son.

1 comment:

  1. You know what? I LOVED this entry. Because I know I have shared the same thoughts and fears about bonding with a child we'd adopt. We want to adopt now more than ever, but it's always been a fear about ME, not about anyone else. This is so enlightening to read, about the process, and about what really happened. We're humbled you'd share part of your heart like this, thank you.