Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Something to Think About

Yesterday Brian and I went to our follow up appointment with our RE. I had already played in my mind how it was going to go down. I imagined him saying something like this, "Your eggs are rotten. Either move on to donor eggs or get on with your life". Imagine my surprise when the conversation didn't play out like that.

Instead, he said that he was very pleased with my cycle up through retrieval. I responded better than he thought I would and there were more follicles than he thought. Also, each follicle retrieved had an egg in it, which just amazed him. However, since not all of the eggs were mature he thinks I could have gone another day on stims. Most importantly, he was quick to point out that my eggs aren't necessarily rotten. I've still got some good stuff to work with. Apparently, it went well enough that he thinks it warrants considering trying it again.

Of course he did talk about using donor eggs. However, that (at $50,000) is so seriously not a viable option for us, I don't care what kind of financing options there are!

But back to my eggos. There are a few tweaks to the protocol that he can do to shoot for an even better number of mature eggs. He was quick to point out that if an any point it looked like the response wouldn't be as good as last time he would cancel the cycle and convert us to an IUI.

After we were this far into the conversation we mentioned our insurance changes taking place in January. Which means, he told us all of the above before knowing that there might actually be a financial way we could work this out. That makes me feel better. However, our doctor is not on our insurance company's list. So, he is having his office manager work on Brian's insurance company including our doctor.

Oh, and the fact that coverage doesn't kick in until January? No problem, my doctor wants to give my slovaries a chance to rest and recover and wouldn't want to start anything until about then anyhow.

You may recall that I said, once upon a time, that this whole IVF thing wasn't so bad. That it was, in fact, not as hard as I expected and that if not for rotten eggs and $18,000 I could do it over and over again. (Mind you, this was before I lived the week and a half it has been since my negative beta.) So here we are, money won't be as much of an issue. And rotten eggs may not be much of an issue either. So where does that leave me? With considering another ride on the IVF roller coaster.

I say considering because the doctor gives me hope, yet the past week and a half gives me great fear. Fear that next time it will be even worse after a negative beta. When all hope truly is lost.

Luckily a decision does not need to be made today, or even tomorrow, or next week. We have time to mull it over and think about just how far we want to push. But it does make me wonder . . . a few days ago I saw our impending insurance coverage as added insult to injury. And now it is starting to look like the makings of a second chance. A last chance. The question will be whether I have the courage to take it.


  1. I'm so sorry I've been so quiet during this difficult time. I'm so sorry about this IVF cycle and with the decisions that lie ahead. Know that I'm thinking of you and wishing you peace and comfort during this time.

  2. Oh. Thank. God. This is finally some good news on what has been an otherwise WORTHLESS day. And it couldn't have happened to a nicer person! For various and sundry reasons it appears that I might be waiting until January for my next cycle, so we might be doing some waiting together!

    PS Thank you for your comment on my blog today. I am so thankful for you.

  3. Wow, that's cool you have choices - yay for choices!!!

  4. At least you have some sort of hope back and that is HUGE. I say pray on it and the right answer will come to you.

  5. Chris...

    I don't know you in real life, just from "the internets". But my gut feeling about you is that you were just meant to be a mom. However you achieve that is up to you.

    I am so glad that you have changes in your insurance that will allow you to try for #2, if that's what you want.


  6. It is so nice to have choices! And I am so glad your eggs aren't rotten. :-) Relax over the holidays and make your decision slowly. Does your IVF clinic have multi-cycle packages for a discount? There is still hope. I know it will happen for you. The stats say that the success rates are cumulative....so, think about it.

  7. Anonymous10:48 AM

    First off, thank you for being so supportive on my blog with all my tubal/miscarriage crap goping on. Sorry I have not been as active on yours as I should be.

    Second off, If money is not an issue I say go for it. Believe me, if there was ANY way I could afford it, I would do it. So I say if you want to and can handle it mentally, physically and financially, well there really isn't a question is there??

  8. We are pondering the same thoughts--so I will be following your decisions closely=)
    Glad you have a plan in place--and I hope that this next ride isnt so bumpy!

  9. I think you are very smart to not make a snap judgement. Take your time, talk with DH, let some of the emotional chaos calm down, and then think more about it. I have no doubt that time will help you and your husband make the decision that is right for you both.

  10. That's a tough decision, but maybe a little easier with the insurance coverage in place now. I am glad you don't have to rush the decision.