Saturday, May 02, 2009

Total Slacker

That would be me.

Last night B and I left the house with Andrew to run a few shopping errands and have dinner at Red Robin. I dutifully packed a diaper bag beforehand, including dinner for my little munchie-boy. After our Target run (yes, doesn't this sound like a super fun Friday night?!?!?!) we went to the restaurant. As we were unloading the stroller I noticed that I forgot the diaper bag at home. I mean, how sucky am I to leave my baby's dinner at home when hubby and I are eating out? Luckily, we had just picked up a bunch of formula and baby food so there was something for Andrew to eat. Also, we had brought along a sippy cup of water so we were able to switch it for formula. The only thing we were missing was the barley cereal that Andrew eats every night. Instead of half of a large jar of baby food he ate the entire thing. It seemed as though all was well and crisis averted.

Lest you think I got away scott-free (which, by the way, where does that saying come from?) with forgetting the ever important diaper bag, let me assure you, my day today has been full of consequences. Yes, that would be plural.

#1 Late this morning I found the opened jug of formula from last night put away in the pantry. NOT the refrigerator. Ugh.

#2 Even later today I found the sippy cup, still containing some formula, floating around in my purse. Ick.

#3 While at Walmart with my mom (yes, don't I go to just the most exciting places on the weekend?) I heard and then smelled a catastrophe brewing in Andrew's pants. I took him outside to change him in the back of my SUV because I'm just too skeeved out by cooties to use the changing tables in the Walmart bathrooms. As I pulled his pants out they turned inside out, at which time I discovered that they were lined with very wet, runny poopy. And lots of it. Which meant that the onsies was also covered. Which meant that my buggy-boo was also covered from his knees to his navel. I used every last wipey that I had to clean him up and finally got a new diaper in place and even a clean onesie. Then I discovered another diaper bag catastrophe. NO plastic bags! Luckily I had purchased a greeting card earlier so I was able to use that bag to contain the poopy clothes. Another lucky thing was the trashcan in the parking lot. As if this situation needed to be any grosser, as I was going to put Andrew back in the stroller I discovered that the seat in the stroller was also soaking wet with runny poopy. I've lost count of how many icks this was.

Wanna know how I know this was payback for forgetting the diaper bag and thinking I got away with it? At home during dinner tonight I heard Andrew fill another diaper. When I looked at him he laughed at me. This diaper change also resulted in a soaked onesie and poopy up the backy of the baby. And the contents of both of these diapers? Well, to put it delicately, it's exactly the same as what was put into Andrew at dinner last night (except far runnier), which was turkey with mixed vegetables.

So, this is apparently what I get for being a total slacker and forgetting the ever important diaper bag. I don't think I'll be forgetting it again any time soon. Or at least I hope not.

Oh, and lest people (like my wonderful cousin Catherine) think that we have nothing except poop happen to us, let me clarify. Today I was fortunate enough to get to the gym in the morning. Later I went for a massage, and even later I had a pedicure. Those are all wonderful things. However, if that was the part I blogged about instead of the poopy part then you wouldn't have been able to snicker at me and remember fondly the days like this that you have had.

And so I invite you, please leave a comment sharing one of your slacker mom moments. Oh, and because I know that so many of my friends are still waiting (patiently and not so patiently) to be moms, and so that I don't leave anyone out from the fun, it can be something YOUR mom has done to you in a totally slacker moment.


  1. Oh oh looks like you've had a tough day!
    I dont have kids yet so all I can do is shudder at the tought of runny poopie days :)

  2. I find myself doing those types of things all the time. I just have totally forgotten all the STUFF one has to remember with a baby!

    One memorable time--we were on Cape Cod this last October (which was already unusual because we usually do it in the summer--but we changed plans because of the baby). We were in Provincetown for the day. And I we ran out of formula and I had no more packed in the diaper bag. And, while I could have breastfed, I was loathe to, as there really wasn't any good spots to do it in. So, we went to convenience store to convenience store trying to find some instant formula. (The reason why there was no formula to be found--same as the reason why I couldn't find a family friendly place to BF--Provincetown is known as more of a "Gay Town"--and I mean that in the most good way--we go there because its so much fun and the people are great--they just don't have formula!!)

    We finallly tracked down some instant formula--and I proceeded to pour it into the bottle and give it to her. Only afterwards did I see it was CONCENTRATED and I was supposed to cut it with water.

    Oh the poops we had later!

  3. I have too many to count and I've only been at it 17 months. When LG was about 9 months I was at a store and realized he had pooped. I had left the little diaper bag in the car, so I waited until I finished my shopping, I didn't need much afterall. By the time I got to the car, the 2 wipes in the little bag weren't enough, and he had soaked through all his clothes. I ended up using the clean part of the onesie as a pseudo wipe and transported him home in only a diaper. The little diaper bag now contains a back-up outfit. I also no longer delay changing him, even by 5 minutes.

  4. Oh the famous diaper blowouts. Warren had one as we were arriving at the mall one day. No backup outfit... fortunately, we were at the mall so I could buy him something to wear.

    I also managed to put his diaper on wonky one day last week. Of course, he pooped half an hour after I dropped him off. I don't think the babysitter was overly thrilled about that...