Thursday, August 28, 2008

Maybe Some Substance?

I say "maybe" because I tend to write my title before I write my post and right now I'm not exactly sure where I'm going. But then again, I guess that is where I'm going . . . to tell about how I'm not sure where I'm going. Don't get me wrong, everything is fine and wonderful here and I'm not complaining one little bit. I'm just in a bit of an unfamiliar place for me and it's taking some time to get used to it.

We are adjusting quite well to life with Andy. There were some rough nights around the time of my miscarriage and surgery, but since then we have been up just twice a night with him for diaper changes and feedings and he goes right back to sleep. And I have to admit that even when I am half asleep, or more, I do actually enjoy the night time feedings because they are such quiet and peaceful times.

I have gotten super comfortable with taking Andy along on all sorts of errands. It's getting easier to get the infant seat in and out of the car and dealing with the stroller, as well as dealing with shopping carts. I was a little nervous and hesitant the first few times that I did it, but now we are really good!

This kid screams bloody murder through any diaper or clothing change, but we plug along and get it done and then all is well. He is really easy in that whenever he is crying the surest way to get him to stop is just to pick him up. For the most part he is very easily consoled. So far we have been really lucky in that we haven't had a moment where we just throw up our hands and have no idea what to do to make him happy. I would have to say that Andrew is a very easy baby.

Several people we know exhibited a great deal of glee while telling us that once we got the baby home our lives would be a miserable hell and we would never sleep again. Or, you know, some variation of that. At the time when people were running their mouths I would just hold my tongue and wait out a change of subject. However, these were very hurtful comments to me. I felt like they were trying to rain on our parade and weren't being respectful of our struggle to get here. And now I'm completely delighted that this hasn't been our experience, yet I feel sad for the people who apparently had such a tough time adjusting that they felt the need to make these comments to us.

Many more people have told us that this is the hardest time, and that things will only get better from here. These comments bring me great comfort because this newborn time just hasn't been bad, and if things only get better from here then we are incredibly blessed. It's a little bit like getting married, I think. Everyone tells you how hard the first year is. At the end of our first year we said, "Wow, what a piece of cake". If that was the hardest year then the rest would be completely great.

I think the hardest part for me, so far, has been my complete lack of time management skills. Now, anyone who knows me, knows that this usually isn't an issue for me. I'm organized and on top of things. But now? Forget it. For example, my house hasn't been vacuumed in weeks. Now, this isn't entirely my fault, as I was medically banned from vacuuming until this past Friday. But since then, I haven't been able to pull it together and get it done. I start my morning with a mile long to-do list in my head. And really, it isn't anything hard or too time consuming. There aren't even any major projects, just everyday things like fold a load of laundry, write thank-you cards, deal with the bills, take food out of the freezer for dinner. Oh, and dust and vacuum the house, and clean the bathrooms. But none of this stuff ever gets done. EVER! All I manage to get done is keeping the kitchen clean, bottles washed, formula made. I keep up on the baby's laundry and deal with trash and recycling on a daily basis. But the rest? Never gets done, despite my best intentions. The worst part is that I have no idea where my time goes. It's just gone, and I'm not even napping away my day! I can't blame it on blogging, because that hasn't been getting done either. It's truly a mystery.

But you aren't here for all of this. You are looking for pictures. Let me see what I can dig up . . .


  1. What a sweet baby! I'm thrilled for you that you are enjoying parenthood so much. :-)

  2. I hear ya on the stupid comments. THey are hurtful. I am at hte brunt of many these days it seems.

    As for time management - when you figure it out -PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE write a how to guide because I just plain SUCK at it all but taking care of my baby right now.

    Look at the cutie pie!

  3. I hear ya on where does your time go or how you didnt get that long list done. I hear ya I hear ya I hear ya. IT all gets easier also. Imagine having two or three or 6 at one time. hehe. I have no idea how those moms do it. Your doing great. Dont expect too much, just enjoy your time now and get done what cant wait. Time flies. Enjoy.

  4. Anonymous6:28 PM

    Chris, I totally agree with the time thing. I only now have free time with kindergarten and I still can't get anything done. My mom would'nt agree because her house is spotless, but we always believe that it is more important to have family time than to worry about things like vacuuming and such. They are only young once so have fun playing with them and do what is needed and the rest will happen when it can.
    Enjoy your beautiful son. I am glad it is easier to take him places and that the nights are going so well. I loved the peacefulness of it too.

    Love Laurie D.

  5. I really hate when people take glee in the comments. I think they mean well, and I think perhaps its like a way to "war story" with you. BUT, I found that it was not so hard to adjust to a baby. And I think some people have an easier time than others. Its an adjustment, yes, but it is not the end of the world. I take the first year as a free pass on all schedules and planning though!

    CUTE pictures!

  6. I hate that too, but I never really thought about why they do it - you're bang on. I hate when they have nothing better to do than bet on how hard it'll be for us cuz it was hard for them.

  7. Cleaning was never in my to-do list in those early weeks and months. My husband cleaned on weekends and that was it. So don't worry about not getting 'anything done', it's you and Andrew time now, cleaning can wait :)

  8. I say poo on the nay-sayers, and woo hoo to you and little Andrew for being such an easy going duo. Quite honestly that says a lot about you as a mom. If you're calm and laid back then the baby can sense that. It's so easy to get stressed and overwhelmed in the beginning, so kuddos to you!!

    Andrew is PRECIOUS!!!!!

  9. I am so glad to know you're all doing well and adjusting. It's also reassuring to me to hear how well you're all doing since in about 4 weeks that will be me!

    He is beautiful! Take care!

  10. Interesting that you're writing about this. In the adoption book i am reading talks about how adoptive parents feel this need to be perfect - OR - that others view us (I am almost there, so I am saying us, dammit) in a "well, you asked for it" kind of way...

    It's really just horrible what people think is appropriate conversation.

  11. He looks so itty bitty in that huge seat. Adorable!

  12. Chris-he is so cute! As far as making time for stuff, it took me about 3 months till I was able to figure out a way to cook and do basic stuff. I still have a hard time esp since maya is a light napper.I recently hired a babysitter/nanny who comes once a week so I can get stuff done! Don't worry about it tho-you will find your groove. Enjoy your baby-he is delicious!

  13. Anonymous4:36 PM

    Hi Chris, Linda luna here. You played with my adopted children, Andrea and Erik when you were small and lived in Minnesota. I just called Andrea this evening (the line was busy, she was calling me. This happens all the time). Not to demean a physical bond between parent and child but there are also very special bonds between adopted parents and children. I am sure you have heard this poem but I have been misty about it all evening after talking to your mom and dad about the adoption day celebration. Poem to an Adopted child:"Not flesh of my flesh,nor bone of my bone, but still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute, you didn't grow under my heart, but in it." Anonymous
    Bob and I look forward to celebrating with you.

  14. But Children, that is the whole point. The glee is with all of us who went down the same road! NOBODY gets it all done anymore. Not only that, but we don't care anymore. Balance between baby love, baby care, baby work and all the rest? No balance. The scale is broken. The glee is to see you realize that the organization party is over. Chaos reigns. Time goes by so fast, and when they're gone on to live their lives, there's plenty of time to schedule your day if you want. In the meantime, bend, people, bend. Hold the baby. Rock the baby. Love the baby. He's boss. When he sleeps, you sleep. Just stand back and squint a little when you look around the house. See? It looks fine.

  15. Anonymous5:28 PM

    Every experience with every child is different. It's o.k. for your experience to be different from many of your friends and acquaintances, but their stories and admonitions don't make them bad people. Relish the fact that your new baby has been easy and a joy and keep your fingers crossed that you're just as lucky the next time around.