Saturday, May 31, 2008

Deal or No Deal?

Well, our hearts told us "No Deal" on this situation. Ultimately we felt that the entire situation was way to risky on a number of levels. So, I called the social worker yesterday and told her as much and we won't be meeting with the birthmom tomorrow.

We are confident that when we are presented with the right situation we will feel it deeply in our hearts. That just hasn't happened yet.

And so, we continue to wait.


  1. Hi, I'm stopping by from NCML and just wanted to say hi, and wish you luck on your journey. Waiting for the right situation is tough, but it will come.

  2. found your blog on NCML -- what a tough decision. It seems right to go with your gut.
    My husband and I met a birthmom (in the midst of all our IVF cycles not working) and there was just something that did not feel right even though she was very nice, etc... well we later found out that she took the baby back from the parents she chose after 5 months.
    Good luck with your journey I will be following you along.... sam

  3. Hola from NCLM!

    I am sorry that this situation was not the best...but, I think it's best that you followed your heart. I'm sure the right opportunity will come.

    We have lots in common...I am also from Arizona (in NC now) and I, too have a beagle (named Cleatus). I have to say he is one of the most stubborn dogs I have ever met!

    Take care...:)

  4. over from nclm

    You are smart to trust your judgement. The right situation will come along and you will know when it does.

  5. I am so sorry that this time didn't work out, but I just know in my heart that the right situation will be a long soon. I know, that's easier said than waited for, and I hope it doesn't come off as unsupportive. I can't imagine the rollercoaster this has been. I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you.

  6. There are reasons that you were presented with this situation, maybe to see just what you are willing to accept etc..

    You are in my prayers as you continue to wait.

  7. Another from NCLM.

    I just wanted to let you know you are in my prayes and thoughts. I know you did what you feel is right.. but I'm sure it wasn't easy!


  8. Chris, I truly aplaud you for knowing your limits and being able to make the best choice for you!

  9. Thanks for leaving a comment at my blog.

    Wow, what a tough decision to have to make. You really do have to believe in your own judgements.

    I have looked at your profile pages for the adoption - they look fantastic.

    Good luck, when the time is right you will know it.

  10. Hiya,

    Here returning your kind NCLM comment.

    I'm sorry the situation wasn't compatible, it must have been a very hard decision to make that call.

    Good luck, and I hope a future match is a better fit,


  11. What a very hard decision to make when you want something so badly. Good for you for being strong and waiting for the right situation!

  12. I'm sorry this wasn't the right situation for you, hopefully it won't be too much more of a wait for the right one.

  13. So sorry that it's not right for you....


  14. Hi from NCLM. Just wanted to say, follow your heart it will lead you to the right place.

  15. I think it's really exciting that you're only a couple of months into the adoption process, and two different birthmoms have already shown an interest in you. The right situation will come along, and I think you're right to follow your heart.

    I was so intrigued by your recent posts that I read back a ways. I'm sorry that some of your family hasn't been as supportive as you'd expected. I have family friends who adopted children of a different ethnicity, and I've watched my family respond to those children. Yes, there are people who say inappropriate things. But there are also other people who ferociously reprimand them, and for the most part, the children are accepted and treated just like biokids. I think that if you go down that path, you'll find a few bumps in the road, but overall, it will all work out just fine. I think it's the kind of situation that people handle a lot better in reality (ie, they know and love the kid, and stop seeing the kid's color) a lot better than the theoretical situation.

    Good luck to you!

  16. Thanks for your comment on my blog.
    I wish that it were easier to make momentous life-changing decisions.
    I think you're right, when it is right, you won't even question it.
    I wish you the best, and for decisions that come easily and don't weigh on the mind.

  17. Anonymous7:37 AM

    Sorry it didn't work out this time, but you always should follow your gut feelings. Another will come along.


  18. Somehow the gut always knows and should be trusted. I'm sorry this situation wasn't right for you and hope the next one brings your baby home. ((Hugs))

  19. Thanks for the comment on my site!

    I have been reading your story and I am sorry for the tough decision you had to make. It sounds like you know in your heart what the best situation is and I know you will find it.

    Wishing you strength and peace . . .

  20. katedaphne9:13 AM

    I always think it is best to trust your heart. When the right situation comes along, you will know it. Good luck in your adoption journey. And thanks for commenting on my blog too.

  21. bouncing back at you from Nacomleavmo.

    I can only imagine how hard it was to make this decision, but if it wasn't right, it wasn't right.

    I just went back to look at some of your earlier posts and your profile pages are beautiful. So lovely.

    I am hoping something wonderful is just a phone call away.

  22. You will definitely know in your heart of hearts when it is right!

    God-Bless you!

    Visiting from NCLM!

  23. I haven't found myself making this kind of decision, but I think you did the right thing by doing what you thought was right for you. This was a lifetime decision and not one that you can easily change. As much as you want a child, you want to make sure that it is the right situation for you both. Good for you!

    Thanks for your lovely comment on my blog, by the way.

  24. That is a bummer, but you are right, when it is the right situation, you will know.

  25. Hi..thank you for your comment on my blog..This is a hard-decision, but your gut feeling should always be trusted..I will be back to follow your journey towards a baby..Good luck!

  26. So sorry you had to make such a tough decision. We had to do something similar with international adoption when we picked what health conditions we would be able to deal with. We are not open to much and I know that this will make our wait longer and others on the list may pass us by. But we had to think of ourselves and our boys and do what we could handle as a family. I was worried for a bit, but have finally made peace with it and know we have made the right decision! NCLM round 2!

  27. What a tough decision to make. I'm glad you were able to do what felt right for you. It couldn't have been easy though.

    Here's hoping the right situation finds you soon.

  28. I can only imagine how difficult this decision was for you and Brian. I have to believe that your heart will know when the right situation comes your way. And hopefully that will be VERY soon!!

  29. Your heart knows best, dear friend. See you in a few minutes!

  30. here from NCLM, I agree that your heart will know when its right. My friend likes to say she hears music in head when she just knows. Hopefully the bithmom that is going to start your music comes along soon