I'm a proponent of Hope. I like Hope. I'm all for it. I've even got some. But wouldn't it be nice if my Hope knew some boundaries? Is that really too much to ask?
Let me give some examples of appropriate appearances of Hope in my life:
I have Hope that we will be led to our child through the adoption process. This is good.
I have Hope that we will figure things out financially. This is good.
I have Hope that full-time teaching will be enjoyable and not too stressful. This may be a stretch, but this is good.
I have Hope that my dad will continue to gain strength and meaningful ability, and that my mom will figure out a way to be happy. This is good.
And now for the inappropriate, indiscriminate Hope:
Despite my best efforts to the contrary, I still have Hopes of getting pregnant naturally. And this is completely ridiculous, especially for this cycle. Especially considering that I was 1,200 miles away from Brian before, during and after my prime time. Just a reminder, but I have been completely unable to achieve a pregnancy while being MUCH closer to Brian during all of the right times, and let's not forget about $30,000 worth of assisted reproductive technologies. This, is decidedly NOT GOOD.
And where does this misguided Hope come from?
First of all, this month last year is when I did get pregnant. Secondly, since my IVF cycle last October my normally 28 day cycles have been about 24-26 days. I'm currently at day 25. I normally have 4 to 5 days of PMS symptoms before even starting, and right now there is nothing. Eerily similar to a year ago.
So as you can see Hope is behaving in a foolishly indiscriminate manner. I'm going to do my best to ignore her. In fact, I've got tons of weeds to pull in the front and back yards, so I best get to it.
Oh, please be sure to check out my latest poll. As for me, I'm a big fan of chocolate. Duh.