I know that not everything in life can be easy. Believe me, we have been shown that over and over so I think it's a lesson I've pretty much mastered. But can't some things be easy? Just every once in a while? Case in point: remember I mentioned that I dropped off my physician's statement at my RE's office? I thought it should be pretty straightforward to have him fill out and sign the paperwork. After all, he spent a year and a half and collected $30,000 from me trying to get me pregnant. I take that to mean that he believes I am healthy enough and emotionally stable enough to parent a child. Apparently I was wrong.
This morning (after having the paperwork for well over a week) his office manager called to tell me that he isn't comfortable signing the paperwork and he won't be able to do it. The reason given is that he isn't qualified to give me a psych eval. And that needs to be part of the physician's statement. I called the adoption agency. They said that no phych eval is necessary unless there is a history of mental illness. OK, that tells me that I don't need one because nobody has ever suggested that I have any mental illness. I called the doctor's office back and was told to come on down to talk to him. So I did.
And what an interesting conversation that was. First, he began by asking me if I was back to work. I told him I was. He asked it was his fault. And I said, "Why yes it is! In fact, the state of Arizona should be thanking your for returning a teacher to the workforce". Then he encouraged me to do another round of IVF. He still believes that my situation deserves another chance. He doesn't think my fear of another miscarriage should keep me from doing it. Finally we moved on to the discussion of adoption. Are you ready for this? He began by telling me about two different patients of his who adopted and then several years later came to him for further treatment and conceived naturally before any treatment could be done. My chin dropped to the floor.
For the record, if any of you, either in real life or in blogland, ever, ever, ever tell me that now that we are adopting I will fall pregnant please be prepared for me to beat you upside the head with your own shoe. Repeatedly. Possibly with your foot still in it. And likewise, if I do happen to get pregnant one day, don't tell me that it is because we finally started the adoption process and I relaxed. Because then I will beat you upside the head with my own size 10 shoe. Repeatedly.
But let me get back on target. When the conversation finally came around to my physician's statement form that I still needed filled out he said that he couldn't do it. Not because he didn't want to, but that because SART guidelines are very clear on the matter. Any time donor egg or donor sperm is being used there needs to be a psych eval. Apparently adoption is considered donor egg and donor sperm. And the rambling explanation continued. Until I said that I understood. Which all I understand is that I need to go to my primary care doctor. I then collected my paperwork and made my getaway, but not before my doctor wanted a hug. And with instructions to do IVF before summer, if I'm so inclined to do it again. Apparently my eggs will expire this summer. Nice to know.
Once home I called my primary care doctor and made an appointment for the 21st. And I called the adoption agency again to verify that I do not, in fact, need a pysch eval. Did I mention that my RE called them before I got to his office today? Yeah, he did, and explained why he couldn't fill out their paperwork. The owner of the agency told me to just see my primary care and that this really isn't a big deal.
Will anything ever be easy?