Sunday, October 07, 2007

Trying to Chill

OK, I've had some time to calm down a little bit. When I think rationally about this, even though I haven't spoken with my doctor, my feeling is that he won't be at all surprised with this latest development. I mean, at my age aren't at least half of my eggs total crap to begin with? So if I only had 5 mature eggs, and they all fertilized, but only 3 continued to grow and divide, even my limited math skills tell me that that is more than half.

It also supports our hunch that our "unexplained" diagnosis has had to do with fertilization. It isn't like I have had repeat miscarriages. Just one pregnancy, and one miscarriage. And that pregnancy was not the result of treatment.

I'm really hoping not to hear any news today. Last week I was told that they would call with the fertilization report and then I wouldn't hear anything again until the morning of transfer. A call today would totally freak me out, as it would have to be bad news.

My age calls for putting back 3. I've only ever been comfortable with putting back 2. However, I wanted to put back only 2 because of course they would just be so awesome that they would be all I would need. Not because that is all that is left. That is the scary part. That, and the fact that I no longer have a back up option for biological kids for us. This is the last hurrah, and I wasn't expecting that. I wasn't ready for that option to be gone now. I probably should have been, but I guess I was overly optimistic.

I guess the bright side is that now I won't have to pay for embryo preservation.

Continue to hold a good thought for me, and say a prayer or two. I go in at 9:30 tomorrow morning for acupuncture before the 10:15 transfer. I have another acupuncture treatment immediately following, for 30 minutes or until I nearly wet myself, since this all needs to be done on an extremely full bladder. Then I come home for 2 days of bedrest, during which time I will be watching seasons 2 and 3 of Grey's Anatomy. And I am vowing to stay away from Google and all horror stories. Only good thoughts.

Oh, and my first PIO injection was last night, and so not a big deal. There was no ice or heat involved and other than the initial jab I didn't feel a thing. The injection site even feels good today. I hope that keeps up.

3 comments:

  1. Sending you all my good thoughts and prayers. I really, really hope this is it for you. You certainly deserve it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am sending you lots of prayers and hugs. I hope this all works out for the best. Good luck tomorrow!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi Chris,

    I'm sure you are hearing about lots of experiences but here's one (not mine, of course): my friend decided at the last minute to have all three of her embryos put in and then only one implanted (and became a darling little girl). Of course, no one knows which one implanted but she likes to think it was the 3rd one. On the other hand, the chance of triplets is something to really think about - that's serious business. I guess I haven't been helpful but I wanted to let you know that I appreciate the depth of your situation. Fertility treatments make us make so many hard decisions. I have no idea what I would do.

    I do know that I will be thinking of you tomorrow at 10:15 am. And this is to those eggos: Implanto pronto!

    ReplyDelete